Mr. Cox, who was the principal of my high school during freshman year (and several years before that), used to end his morning announcements with that sentence.
Today, I can definitely say that I feel like a champion. I was able to truly see the things I've learned in Mexico at work, and I was proud of the changes I've made in my life.
Before I continue, let me apologize for taking an extended absence from blogging. I have worked too much. I've been fighting and lost vision.
The story picks back up today with my trip to the immigration office here in Mexico. I'm still fighting with them for a visa, and yesterday I received a notification stating that I should present myself this morning.
Last night was spent mostly in worry. This morning, I took a taxi to get there as quickly as possible. It's been nearly a year since I took another memorable taxi ride.
Back then, I was going to a job interview for a German teaching position. I took the train to a station near Sor Juana avenue, and, not knowing the way exactly, I took a taxi. I gave him 50 pesos in advance and asked if he'd have change. He told me to relax and not to worry about it.
First of all, I was struck by his extremely unprofessional attitude. Sor Juana is a well-known street, and he played it dumb. He stopped to ask police officers for directions and between those stops whistled at women passing by. He boasted to me about his sexual adventures and how much money he made every day. At one point, I told him I would be fine on my own, but he said that he could not let a customer just walk to his destination. As I tried to open the door, he hit the gas.
He asked me to call the interviewer, and I replied to him that I had no credit on my phone. He asked to look at it and dialed a number, explaining that it was a customer service line. I was an idiot. I took the bait. As it turned out, he was trying to rob my phone credit by making a transfer. Luckily, I had nothing.
When we finally found the place, the receptionist was in the street waiting for me. The taxi driver threatened me and wanted me to pay him double what I had paid originally. I said that he was being ridiculous, and he threatened to beat me. Not wanting to be seriously injured, I paid up.
Fast-forward one year. I'm going down the street and notice the taxi meter is not counting the trip, so I asked the driver to check it. The traffic was horrible, but luckily, I know a few side roads to get around most of it.
We arrived fairly quickly at my destination, and he tried to charge me more than the taxi meter read. He said it was because it had not counted the first kilometer, and I said that he was ridiculous. I took my money and threw it into the front passenger seat and got out, while he cursed at me and told me I was an idiot. I simply replied, "Likewise," and closed the door.
Arriving at the immigration office also brought a new adventure. My visa was denied. I looked over the document, asked three different people what I had done wrong, and they asked me to go to the department head.
She insisted that the problem was that my translation wasn't signed, but I asked her how she expected me to have my translation signed by the Secretary of State of Kentucky. She then took a different approach, and I showed her all the paperwork that was necessary.
She looked uncomfortable. She was the one who had signed the rejection, and I insisted that this be dealt with without me having to restart the immigration process.
After 30 minutes, I walked out with an appointment on Monday morning as soon as the door opens. Victory for me.
I am tired. I have dealt with problem after problem, but I've come much further than most would have tried to come in doing these things. I've learned a lot.
I've mentioned in this blog a difficulty for me in developing self-confidence, but every day it grows. Sometimes it lags, but today I feel like a very competent and accomplished person, and I am proud of the lessons I have learned by choosing my own path in life and sticking with it.
Perhaps this can inspire you. Don't give up. Do right by others, and don't let them do wrong by you.
Love, always,
-Buster
Tuesday, September 27, 2011
Thursday, June 23, 2011
Getting My Act Together
Private classes, working with English for a Business World, immigration documents...These are the main occupants of my mind these days.
I was having a tough time for a few months. One thing, however, that we've seen consistent with history (both of humans and animals), is that an inability to adapt leads to downfall. Luckily, I managed to figure this out in time and put myself on feet, even with a few huge setbacks (namely, a public university delaying its pay for more than 3 months...still waiting, by the way).
Through a few friends, who led me to a few contacts, I have managed to sell my time for an excellent (and rather tiring) work schedule. This schedule gives me the chance to have Thursdays and Fridays relatively relaxed, a few classes on Saturdays, and increase my income to a level that is about 2 times more (a little more or a little less, depending on the month) to the costs listed in my monthly budget (student loan payments, food, rent, service costs and transportation). That way, I budget about 40% to savings (30% toward a car, and 10% for an emergency), and I have the extra 10% as a cushion.
I'm also learning about reducing grocery costs and general money-saving advice from a website called www.moneyning.com, which is a good place for you to take a look if you're interested in improving your financial situation. With its help, as well as advice from Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace book, I have managed to absorb the shock of being in a slow time as far as work goes (maybe 11 hours per week) and the disappointing shock of not receiving punctual pay from the business I mentioned before. When that money finally comes, I'm buying myself that computer I've been needing for a while...
I've also been doing some shopping for a new place to live. Currently, I'm checking rooms in the nicer areas of the city (Colonia del Valle, Roma, Polanco, La Condesa), so if you're one of my worried parents or a concerned friend you can definitely check those places out online to see the type of neighborhood I'll be living in. The move will probably take place next week, saving me time and money (though costing a bit more in rent).
So, I have to say, that for me working hard (I'm out in the city maybe 50-60 hours per week, though a good deal of that is spent in the commute) and disciplining my spending habits has been a huge blessing. I'm now working toward starting a business, which will be a source of passive income and only require administration from me.
So, in short, things are on the up and up. Since I came to Mexico a year ago, I've increased my monthly salary by about 2.5-3 times of the amount I was earning in the beginning, while working fewer hours. It's about taking your resources into account and keeping an eye open for possibilities, being reliable, and also, knowing how to talk politely to people.
In my personal life, well, not a lot is going on at the moment. Until very recently I had my nose to the grindstone to pay back those big problems, and now I've got the ball back in my court, and that's where it will stay. Because of that, with the new computer and a more controlled budget, expect to see a lot more posts about different adventures around Mexico City. Plan on visiting. Thank you for keeping up with me.
Love, always,
-Buster
Welcome, Summer! Welcome, Mexico City's Rainy Season!
I was having a tough time for a few months. One thing, however, that we've seen consistent with history (both of humans and animals), is that an inability to adapt leads to downfall. Luckily, I managed to figure this out in time and put myself on feet, even with a few huge setbacks (namely, a public university delaying its pay for more than 3 months...still waiting, by the way).
Through a few friends, who led me to a few contacts, I have managed to sell my time for an excellent (and rather tiring) work schedule. This schedule gives me the chance to have Thursdays and Fridays relatively relaxed, a few classes on Saturdays, and increase my income to a level that is about 2 times more (a little more or a little less, depending on the month) to the costs listed in my monthly budget (student loan payments, food, rent, service costs and transportation). That way, I budget about 40% to savings (30% toward a car, and 10% for an emergency), and I have the extra 10% as a cushion.
I'm also learning about reducing grocery costs and general money-saving advice from a website called www.moneyning.com, which is a good place for you to take a look if you're interested in improving your financial situation. With its help, as well as advice from Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace book, I have managed to absorb the shock of being in a slow time as far as work goes (maybe 11 hours per week) and the disappointing shock of not receiving punctual pay from the business I mentioned before. When that money finally comes, I'm buying myself that computer I've been needing for a while...
I've also been doing some shopping for a new place to live. Currently, I'm checking rooms in the nicer areas of the city (Colonia del Valle, Roma, Polanco, La Condesa), so if you're one of my worried parents or a concerned friend you can definitely check those places out online to see the type of neighborhood I'll be living in. The move will probably take place next week, saving me time and money (though costing a bit more in rent).
So, I have to say, that for me working hard (I'm out in the city maybe 50-60 hours per week, though a good deal of that is spent in the commute) and disciplining my spending habits has been a huge blessing. I'm now working toward starting a business, which will be a source of passive income and only require administration from me.
So, in short, things are on the up and up. Since I came to Mexico a year ago, I've increased my monthly salary by about 2.5-3 times of the amount I was earning in the beginning, while working fewer hours. It's about taking your resources into account and keeping an eye open for possibilities, being reliable, and also, knowing how to talk politely to people.
In my personal life, well, not a lot is going on at the moment. Until very recently I had my nose to the grindstone to pay back those big problems, and now I've got the ball back in my court, and that's where it will stay. Because of that, with the new computer and a more controlled budget, expect to see a lot more posts about different adventures around Mexico City. Plan on visiting. Thank you for keeping up with me.
Love, always,
-Buster
Welcome, Summer! Welcome, Mexico City's Rainy Season!
Monday, May 23, 2011
It weighs heavily...
I have made a tough decision, I think. It's not easy, and I'm not necessarily happy, but I think this is for the best in the long run.
But get ready. You're about to see what I can really do.
But get ready. You're about to see what I can really do.
Friday, May 6, 2011
At least I have some ideas...
I haven't felt like blogging much lately. I've been lacking inspiration. Right now, my mind is set on one goal: working hard and making more money. It's not that I care that much about having the stuff, it's more that I want to overcome financial obstacles.
My goal is to become my own boss. To start investing some money in small business pursuits, get myself into grad school, and then...?
I have a few ideas. But we'll talk about those later. :)
-Buster
My goal is to become my own boss. To start investing some money in small business pursuits, get myself into grad school, and then...?
I have a few ideas. But we'll talk about those later. :)
-Buster
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
Laughter is the Best Medicine
Reminding myself today of the value of patience, and also of laughter.
Why take life so seriously?
At times I feel bad, but the thing to remember is that it doesn't last forever. Last night I was annoyed by a video I saw, and it made me think about a lot of stuff. Then I started thinking about good things I remember.
The truth is that simplicity is best. I'll be proactive about the things I can change and passive about the ones I can't.
It's better to let things air out rather than let them fester.
Ta da!
Why take life so seriously?
At times I feel bad, but the thing to remember is that it doesn't last forever. Last night I was annoyed by a video I saw, and it made me think about a lot of stuff. Then I started thinking about good things I remember.
The truth is that simplicity is best. I'll be proactive about the things I can change and passive about the ones I can't.
It's better to let things air out rather than let them fester.
Ta da!
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
llena, pues, de palabras mi locura
Patience is a virtue. Patience is a virtue. Patience is a virtue. Patience is a virtue. Patience is a virtue.
At one point, I had to start crying. I'd have chosen to avoid it had it been avoidable, but feelings repressed do not disappear.
Call me what you will. An over-emotional thinker? Someone lost out in the world?
I can only feel as I'm programmed to feel and think as I'm programmed to think. Tell me to stop thinking, and you'll provoke a good day or two of the same in me.
Chilly nights in quiet streets watching people groggily shuffle by, walking over paths beaten down by centuries of history, that's where I want to be.
I want to look at the city in the distance. I want to re-live the bonfire from the last night in Germany, feel again that rush of fear and wonder as I discover something that was always mine, and have mud wars in a pond filled with worms that make the experience slightly gross.
I want to be who I am with the people who know and love that person. I want to learn more about those around me. I want to learn from my students, learn from my teachers, and learn from the bus driver who shouted at me last night.
I think I'll stop putting on neckties. What good are they anyway?
These are only blotches on a canvas.
Good night.
At one point, I had to start crying. I'd have chosen to avoid it had it been avoidable, but feelings repressed do not disappear.
Call me what you will. An over-emotional thinker? Someone lost out in the world?
I can only feel as I'm programmed to feel and think as I'm programmed to think. Tell me to stop thinking, and you'll provoke a good day or two of the same in me.
Chilly nights in quiet streets watching people groggily shuffle by, walking over paths beaten down by centuries of history, that's where I want to be.
I want to look at the city in the distance. I want to re-live the bonfire from the last night in Germany, feel again that rush of fear and wonder as I discover something that was always mine, and have mud wars in a pond filled with worms that make the experience slightly gross.
I want to be who I am with the people who know and love that person. I want to learn more about those around me. I want to learn from my students, learn from my teachers, and learn from the bus driver who shouted at me last night.
I think I'll stop putting on neckties. What good are they anyway?
These are only blotches on a canvas.
Good night.
Monday, March 28, 2011
I need to be outside...
It's one of those lovely spring days when I want to be barefoot in the grass. Unfortunately, Mexico City is mostly hostile toward barefoot enthusiasts and grass lovers. Sigh.
I cut a pair of jeans to make myself some shorts, pulled out the pair of sandals that I brought from Kentucky, and planned to go hang out and the dreaded "Ah es que ya no voy a poder" (Ah I'm not going to be able to) presented itself again. I hate cancelled plans. It really gets my blood boiling.
In other news, I am about to get a bunch of new classes. This is definitely something to be happy about.
This weekend I worked at my roommate's restaurant. He let me try "Mexican caviar" (escamoles...for those of you who know what I'm talking about). These are none other than ant eggs. They're prepared in like butter and garlic (I think) and served in tacos. I tried one, and though it was mostly edible, I began to realize that anything (including a pile of poo) might taste good if you mix it with the right ingredients.
The restaurant job was stressful, but also fun. Until my new classes start, I'll probably be working there a bit to keep myself sustained.
Other than that, I'm a very tired young man today. It has been a day that has both exceeded my expectations and disappointed me. Oh well, I've still got a smile on.
In fact, this song, which was popular when I first got here, has got me smiling again. Enjoy.
Love, always,
-Buster
Thursday, March 24, 2011
Goodbye Glory Days
Pensamientos que me agarran, que no me dejan ni un momento descansar...
I'm a glutton for learning. I'm fighting and hurting, and it's very tough at the moment. Why do I keep going?
I have to be honest. I won't lie anymore. I'm lost in my dreams. I refuse, refuse, refuse to give up on them. Every well-intentioned person who cares for me wants me to return to the comfort of the US.
Why can't I?
I don't know, but I can't. Who have I become in this time? Myself.
I'm seeing both the good and the bad. I am letting go of insecurities and searching for answers.
At the moment, the idea of the "world traveler" who knows what he's doing that some may have of me must be eliminated.
I'm just a person living life the way he sees fit.
Good day.
-Buster
I'm a glutton for learning. I'm fighting and hurting, and it's very tough at the moment. Why do I keep going?
I have to be honest. I won't lie anymore. I'm lost in my dreams. I refuse, refuse, refuse to give up on them. Every well-intentioned person who cares for me wants me to return to the comfort of the US.
Why can't I?
I don't know, but I can't. Who have I become in this time? Myself.
I'm seeing both the good and the bad. I am letting go of insecurities and searching for answers.
At the moment, the idea of the "world traveler" who knows what he's doing that some may have of me must be eliminated.
I'm just a person living life the way he sees fit.
Good day.
-Buster
Monday, March 21, 2011
Changes
I'm a little stressed, so I've been changing a lot of things. Besides that, I got hit on two times on the bus (today and a few weeks ago). It freaks me out, but I guess some brave souls are capable of doing that.
I'm still working on getting some classes organized. It's quite a non-productive time right now. I guess that chasing dreams takes a little more sacrifice than I've given so far.
Chin up, eyes forward.
-Buster
I'm still working on getting some classes organized. It's quite a non-productive time right now. I guess that chasing dreams takes a little more sacrifice than I've given so far.
Chin up, eyes forward.
-Buster
Friday, March 18, 2011
You Live, and You Learn...
...and every once in a while you learn something about the man in the mirror. Today I've come to see him in a slightly different, and altogether better, way.
Photo: *Imitation is the highest form of flattery*
Some friends from Matamoros came for a visit (shout-outs to Bitia and Eliud!), and we had a few good days together doing the typical Mexico City stuff. Through this trip I realized a lot about how different I've become.
The pyramids demonstrated that to me more than anything. Several months back I climbed them panting from the exertion and trembling from fear. This time they posed no threat to me. I went up with energy and a smile on my face, and came back down with a touch of fear but mostly a good feeling as I realized that those heights, at least, aren't quite as scary as they were to me before.
I like the person I'm becoming. I'm working on a new project, getting some private classes lined out (well, trying), teaching at a respected university, and enjoying the friends and "family" I have here.
Photo: *Brotherhood*
I realized something else about my life now. I'm happy because I did what I wanted to do. Before I worried about what society thought best. Not anymore.
College was only an incubation period. I was growing and developing so that I could step out into the world ready to face the challenges it would present me, and guess what! It worked.
I heard a teacher down here tell her students this: "Todos los esfuerzos valen la pena." EVERY EFFORT IS WORTH THE TROUBLE.
And I see it so clearly now. There have been days when I didn't have money and wasn't even sure how I'd get to work. There have been days when I felt like a total failure. There are nights when I can't sleep.
But here I am. I'm happy because this is my life. I've found myself. And things will only get better from here on.
Love, always,
-Buster
Photo: *It's believed that by standing at the top of the pyramid, in the dead center, the sun reaches you and energizes you. Here I am touching it again and getting my batteries charged back up :)*
Photo: *Imitation is the highest form of flattery*
Some friends from Matamoros came for a visit (shout-outs to Bitia and Eliud!), and we had a few good days together doing the typical Mexico City stuff. Through this trip I realized a lot about how different I've become.
The pyramids demonstrated that to me more than anything. Several months back I climbed them panting from the exertion and trembling from fear. This time they posed no threat to me. I went up with energy and a smile on my face, and came back down with a touch of fear but mostly a good feeling as I realized that those heights, at least, aren't quite as scary as they were to me before.
I like the person I'm becoming. I'm working on a new project, getting some private classes lined out (well, trying), teaching at a respected university, and enjoying the friends and "family" I have here.
Photo: *Brotherhood*
I realized something else about my life now. I'm happy because I did what I wanted to do. Before I worried about what society thought best. Not anymore.
College was only an incubation period. I was growing and developing so that I could step out into the world ready to face the challenges it would present me, and guess what! It worked.
I heard a teacher down here tell her students this: "Todos los esfuerzos valen la pena." EVERY EFFORT IS WORTH THE TROUBLE.
And I see it so clearly now. There have been days when I didn't have money and wasn't even sure how I'd get to work. There have been days when I felt like a total failure. There are nights when I can't sleep.
But here I am. I'm happy because this is my life. I've found myself. And things will only get better from here on.
Love, always,
-Buster
Photo: *It's believed that by standing at the top of the pyramid, in the dead center, the sun reaches you and energizes you. Here I am touching it again and getting my batteries charged back up :)*
Thursday, March 3, 2011
Thank You
Tonight I settled down to a pepperoni pizza with hot sauce, a pepsi, and My Super Sweet Worldwide. (I think that's what it's called...?)
Often we watch those shows and feel like the parents are doing their children unthinkable harm. I have felt that way several times, and as this 21 year old British kid walks outside his manor to a lawn lit up by fireworks, I thought back to July 2006.
I had just come back from Germany. I was feeling a little weird to be back in the states, and one day, everyone I knew and cared about showed up on our lawn. It was the biggest party I could imagine.
The afternoon was filled with food, live music, and catching up. At dusk, everyone dragged a chair to the front yard, where a huge fireworks show lit up the night.
I look back at that moment and realize that, as children, we can be a joy to our parents, and I, guiltily, wonder if I am truly a joy to mine.
Living my life as it feels it should be lived has taken me all over the place, not just geographically. I have gone from ideology to ideology, from being an all-star student to barely scraping by, and now I live in Mexico City.
I know my parents love me and are proud of me, and I hope they know how much I love them. Things may have been rough the last few years, but I thank them for their love, their patience, and their understanding as I take the road less traveled. I thank them for their allowance to let me test the waters, to expand, and to learn.
I know that I wouldn't be who I am today without their love.
Thank you, Mom, for always having a lap where I can rest my head. Thank you for discerning when I am trying to hide my pain and letting me express it.
Thank you, Dad, for being a father who says, "I love you." Thank you for helping me through sticky situations and keeping me above the water.
Love, always,
-Buster
Often we watch those shows and feel like the parents are doing their children unthinkable harm. I have felt that way several times, and as this 21 year old British kid walks outside his manor to a lawn lit up by fireworks, I thought back to July 2006.
I had just come back from Germany. I was feeling a little weird to be back in the states, and one day, everyone I knew and cared about showed up on our lawn. It was the biggest party I could imagine.
The afternoon was filled with food, live music, and catching up. At dusk, everyone dragged a chair to the front yard, where a huge fireworks show lit up the night.
I look back at that moment and realize that, as children, we can be a joy to our parents, and I, guiltily, wonder if I am truly a joy to mine.
Living my life as it feels it should be lived has taken me all over the place, not just geographically. I have gone from ideology to ideology, from being an all-star student to barely scraping by, and now I live in Mexico City.
I know my parents love me and are proud of me, and I hope they know how much I love them. Things may have been rough the last few years, but I thank them for their love, their patience, and their understanding as I take the road less traveled. I thank them for their allowance to let me test the waters, to expand, and to learn.
I know that I wouldn't be who I am today without their love.
Thank you, Mom, for always having a lap where I can rest my head. Thank you for discerning when I am trying to hide my pain and letting me express it.
Thank you, Dad, for being a father who says, "I love you." Thank you for helping me through sticky situations and keeping me above the water.
Love, always,
-Buster
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
Waiting on a New Schedule, Projects Begin Immediately
I've had a lot of free time lately. What have I been doing?
Catching up on sleep, checking out things that are close by (Tepotzotlán, la Condesa, etc), and wondering what to do next.
I find myself in a rather difficult position. I've already been accepted as a new teacher by two different schools. At this point I'm just waiting on them to send me the schedule for classes I'll be teaching, and that is now turning into a three week waiting game.
In the meantime, I'm looking into ways to get myself situated here. I'm sort of trapped in a bureaucratic nightmare when it comes to visas, permits, and trying to open a bank account, and now that I have time I'm doing what I can to get this mess organized.
If you'll kindly look back to the first few posts, you'll see that before I came to Mexico, I had dreams of learning Nahuatl, getting involved with humanitarian work, and making myself a better person all-around. While this has been on my mind, it was pushed to the back of my thoughts due to a never-ending work week. Now that I have time, I might as well establish some of these ideas.
Goals:
1) Learn Nahuatl
2) Begin the legwork for starting grad school
3) Begin writing this book...(more about the idea later)
I have figured out that my first love is learning, and now I have to keep going with that.
On an unrelated note, I'm sorry for being so behind on posts. I still have no computer, so I bum one whenever I get the chance to update.
I'm off for now.
Love, always,
-Buster
Catching up on sleep, checking out things that are close by (Tepotzotlán, la Condesa, etc), and wondering what to do next.
I find myself in a rather difficult position. I've already been accepted as a new teacher by two different schools. At this point I'm just waiting on them to send me the schedule for classes I'll be teaching, and that is now turning into a three week waiting game.
In the meantime, I'm looking into ways to get myself situated here. I'm sort of trapped in a bureaucratic nightmare when it comes to visas, permits, and trying to open a bank account, and now that I have time I'm doing what I can to get this mess organized.
If you'll kindly look back to the first few posts, you'll see that before I came to Mexico, I had dreams of learning Nahuatl, getting involved with humanitarian work, and making myself a better person all-around. While this has been on my mind, it was pushed to the back of my thoughts due to a never-ending work week. Now that I have time, I might as well establish some of these ideas.
Goals:
1) Learn Nahuatl
2) Begin the legwork for starting grad school
3) Begin writing this book...(more about the idea later)
I have figured out that my first love is learning, and now I have to keep going with that.
On an unrelated note, I'm sorry for being so behind on posts. I still have no computer, so I bum one whenever I get the chance to update.
I'm off for now.
Love, always,
-Buster
Monday, February 14, 2011
Overdue
It doesn't matter. I don't think anyone has been too anxious about hearing every detail of my life.
Where do I start?
I've started teaching university classes, and I have to say, that I feel really at home teaching college students. I'm there five hours every Saturday, and we're looking at me taking the exam pretty soon to be a faculty member. (Dream come true? Oh yeah)
I've also quit working at the primary school and will focus my time giving classes to individuals and businesses. This basically means a better salary and less hours.
It was becoming necessary. I have been way too stressed lately. I got to the point I couldn't hide it anymore. My schedule was absolutely killing me. Most days I was out of the house for 13 hours and got home just on time to go to sleep. The problem was, I couldn't sleep. I had to begin planning, grading, and taking care of other matters.
I decided I'd had enough. I did what I could for myself, and it is paying off.
Carlos and I ended up at the mall today. We took a friend to work (he works in the cinema), and then we walked around for a while. The end result was that he found a few things on sale and tried to help me get over my "problem." (Es que te ves muy aseñorado, Buster...TRANSLATION: You look like an old man, Buster)
The end result was this.
It took some getting used to. Everything was a little tighter-fitting than I'm used to, but I think it worked out.
Other than that, I've had a lot of things to think about lately. Last night would've been the perfect night for a very thoughtful blog, but I won't be going into all of that now. Maybe I'll talk about it another day.
Everyone, please keep your fingers crossed for the changes that are going in my life. I'm getting this whole "teaching in Mexico" thing figured out. I've learned and grown a lot. Let's hope the pace keeps going.
And this week, I'm also officially starting a diet. A friend of mine is a nutritionist, and he's getting English classes in exchange for consultations for me. I managed to get back down to my pre-Christmas weight, now I just need to lose another 20 and I'll be at a healthy weight.
Love, always,
-Buster
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
Back in Mexico
I made it back home yesterday in the early hours of the morning. I was so tired and was unable to sleep, and I didn't make it to work, but now we will start to see a few new things take hold in my life.
Today I started the day bright and early after a sleepless night. I am very surprised that I was unable to sleep, but yesterday I had a great time for most of the day, but I also faced up to a few issues.
I'm learning a lot about myself. I'm learning that my decision-making is often rash. I'm learning that I have some serious insecurities to face. I'm also learning how to make my goals happen for this year.
I put my resolutions for this year in Spanish on a previous post, but they're very general. I am working toward inner peace and financial peace. I don't want to begin making three times as much money. I'm not working toward being 20 lbs. lighter. I'm not trying to create situations to make me happy.
How do I know I'll have reached them? My roommate caught me as I was feeling very defeated last night, and he was there to support me. He reminded me of what I had said before but had managed to let slip my mind.
This goal is about making more intelligent decisions. It's about living in a way that I'll appreciate tomorrow. It's about avoiding excess and carelessness. As I said before, I'm seeing how rash I am when it comes to decisions. I tend to take the first thing that comes my way, and it's not fair to myself that I'm putting myself under that sort of pressure.
No more. I am where I am because of willpower combined with circumstance. Now I'm going to do what I can to make the best of it.
My time in Kentucky taught me a lot. Whether it was John Albert showing me what it means to be wise with one's money, whether it was a talk with Dr. Bodevin, whether it was appreciating how much my cousins have grown or experiencing biting cold again, I realized a lot of things while I was there.
And I realized that my life is okay here. I'm happy where I am. I'm living the life that I wanted to live, facing the issues I knew I would face, and seeing that things on paper are only things on paper. They lack feelings, urges, passion, and, in short, life. A bit of wisdom I've acquired comes in the form of knowing myself, recognizing my weaknesses, and overcoming them.
Some would argue that it's not a good idea for me to sit here and type out everything on my heart, and I'll resist the urge. But, to anyone who cares enough about me to read this, I want to talk about some issues I face.
I've always hated my appeareance. I've been overweight for too long. I love my personality and the way I think, but I feel like people lose interest in me before they get to see that. I care too much at times...about people, about problems...I sometimes allow myself to start drowning in a glass of water, if you want to draw that illustration.
But when I think about what I've done in life, when I have a friend who has a smile and an encouraging word, I'm as happy as can be, and begin to feel capable again. (Thanks, Mahmoud, for what you told me)
I appreciate all the wonderful people I'm surrounded by, and even the not-so-wonderful ones. I have to go back to what I wrote at the beginning of this blog. I will learn until the day I die. I am thankful for the good and bad times that have made me think this way. This will be an excellent year.
Thank you for being in my life.
Love, always,
-Buster
Today I started the day bright and early after a sleepless night. I am very surprised that I was unable to sleep, but yesterday I had a great time for most of the day, but I also faced up to a few issues.
I'm learning a lot about myself. I'm learning that my decision-making is often rash. I'm learning that I have some serious insecurities to face. I'm also learning how to make my goals happen for this year.
I put my resolutions for this year in Spanish on a previous post, but they're very general. I am working toward inner peace and financial peace. I don't want to begin making three times as much money. I'm not working toward being 20 lbs. lighter. I'm not trying to create situations to make me happy.
How do I know I'll have reached them? My roommate caught me as I was feeling very defeated last night, and he was there to support me. He reminded me of what I had said before but had managed to let slip my mind.
This goal is about making more intelligent decisions. It's about living in a way that I'll appreciate tomorrow. It's about avoiding excess and carelessness. As I said before, I'm seeing how rash I am when it comes to decisions. I tend to take the first thing that comes my way, and it's not fair to myself that I'm putting myself under that sort of pressure.
No more. I am where I am because of willpower combined with circumstance. Now I'm going to do what I can to make the best of it.
My time in Kentucky taught me a lot. Whether it was John Albert showing me what it means to be wise with one's money, whether it was a talk with Dr. Bodevin, whether it was appreciating how much my cousins have grown or experiencing biting cold again, I realized a lot of things while I was there.
And I realized that my life is okay here. I'm happy where I am. I'm living the life that I wanted to live, facing the issues I knew I would face, and seeing that things on paper are only things on paper. They lack feelings, urges, passion, and, in short, life. A bit of wisdom I've acquired comes in the form of knowing myself, recognizing my weaknesses, and overcoming them.
Some would argue that it's not a good idea for me to sit here and type out everything on my heart, and I'll resist the urge. But, to anyone who cares enough about me to read this, I want to talk about some issues I face.
I've always hated my appeareance. I've been overweight for too long. I love my personality and the way I think, but I feel like people lose interest in me before they get to see that. I care too much at times...about people, about problems...I sometimes allow myself to start drowning in a glass of water, if you want to draw that illustration.
But when I think about what I've done in life, when I have a friend who has a smile and an encouraging word, I'm as happy as can be, and begin to feel capable again. (Thanks, Mahmoud, for what you told me)
I appreciate all the wonderful people I'm surrounded by, and even the not-so-wonderful ones. I have to go back to what I wrote at the beginning of this blog. I will learn until the day I die. I am thankful for the good and bad times that have made me think this way. This will be an excellent year.
Thank you for being in my life.
Love, always,
-Buster
Saturday, January 8, 2011
A partir del lunes...
Hola,
a partir del lunes el blog continuara en INGLES. Lo uso principalmente para que mis amigos/familiares en otros lugares se puedan enterar de lo que esta pasando en mi vida, por eso, a los que me puedan ver en persona, VISITENME :) armemos algo padre y seamos sociables.
Los quiero mucho. Siempre me asombran mis amistades, y espero que podamos seguir por este o cualquier otro medio en contacto.
Muchos saludos y abrazos,
~Buster
a partir del lunes el blog continuara en INGLES. Lo uso principalmente para que mis amigos/familiares en otros lugares se puedan enterar de lo que esta pasando en mi vida, por eso, a los que me puedan ver en persona, VISITENME :) armemos algo padre y seamos sociables.
Los quiero mucho. Siempre me asombran mis amistades, y espero que podamos seguir por este o cualquier otro medio en contacto.
Muchos saludos y abrazos,
~Buster
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)