Irked...

Irked. Say a prayer for me.

Sleep? No I Never Get Enough!

Song of the Day

Sleep - Riley Armstrong

(DISCLAIMER: I don't really like this song at all, but it's fitting)

(Again, this song is just as annoying as an alarm clock. But it sometimes runs through my head when I'm running around trying to catch buses at 6 AM.)

I was in bed pretty much the whole day. I still have loads of work to do, and I sent a message to school telling my kids to work on their projects. I plan on using the rest of this day to catch up on all the things I listed yesterday, but I'm sharing some videos from my trip to Cuernavaca/Tepoztlan that I didn't get to upload before, due to an "error" that blogger "deeply regrets." Whatevs.

Here are the videos. Enjoy.

~Buster

Us on the Bus!

(Gist Translation from watching it and writing it down by memory)

*Laughter*

Nico: Are you recording?

Buster: No...Never...I can't.

Nico: Okay.

2 seconds

Nico: No...I hate these types of pictures. They look like crap

Buster: Don't worry. I'm not recording. I think this thing is messing up. So I'm just checking.

Nico: That's not true.

Buster: Okay, it's not true. I was recording.

Araniz: Really?!

Tourist Video

(Funeral Parlor Spanish Interlude)

Me: And here's a funeraria.

Araniz: No city should be without...

Me: Obviously at funeral parlors they need water.

I'll add the rest later. This is us going up. I'll add the translations later. I wasn't the only one breathing like that...I was just the only one who had a camera.

Lots to Do...Planning, Too...

Right now I'm taking a brief moment from grading/entering homework and tests, writing letters to parents, planning the German curriculum of the school, planning Oktoberfest, writing a letter to my colleagues about Oktoberfest, and planning tomorrow's classes to write a quick update.

I'm tired, but happy again. I'm planning a trip to the city center on Sunday to play guitar. Yesterday's song is one I wanted to sing, and so, today's song will be me singing it. The points where I stop are where I was scrolling the screen down to keep up with the words.

Enjoy! (And let's hope people throw money at me haha)

~Buster

Practice Makes Perfect

I'm going to probably start putting a song of the day. This is the one I was singing to myself as I walked through the city today.

Yesterday I was facing a lot of insecurities, but now I can say I'm thankful that my plans were cancelled. I decided to sit down and think, read, and reflect. And I've learned something.

I have always been one to put myself through challenges. It's always been sort of an involuntary action. Playing video games I always go for "extremely difficult," even if I can't win at that level. I send myself out of my comfort zone often.

I have ignored my physical condition, but now I'm working on that too. In many ways, the sad days are a blessing.

Why? Because yesterday I decided to stop letting others decide how I feel about myself. In the end, they can't change me, but I can. I'm doing it for myself and no one else. Those I really want in my life and don't want me aren't worth the time. That doesn't mean I shouldn't be friendly to them, but it's time to stop obsessing over them.

And today I was complimented by many people, and

it felt good, but I was already happy. This morning I woke up with a smile on my face, and everyone else only made it better.

"I am the master of my fate: I am the captain of my soul."

It's time for me to take my life by the...horns? Okay, bad analogy, but I'm going to try to be the person I want to be, instead of what everyone else wants me to be. Posting the poem yesterday was my first timid step in that direction.

And today, I'm sharing some pictures from my trip to the city center with some friends today. I hope you enjoy.

~Buster

P.S. Some of these are from my Kentucky Fried Chicken Night (Last night). I was overly excited about eating biscuits...

The Group having some beers

Bicentennial Decorations

The Cathedral (Built over Aztec Temples by the Spanish Invaders)

West-Side

The Flag (much bigger than it seems here)

More Bicentennial Directions

Me

Kentucky Fried Chicken Night! (Notice the biscuits...gahhhh...I'm already craving it again)

Don't forget, I am a Kentuckian.

Trying to Put Things into Practice

I meant to include this song yesterday, but since yesterday's and today's entries link, it fits here too.

culture shock? (!)

I think I could possibly be having culture shock. Most people agree that culture shock happens after three months, and this week I'm pulling into month three.

I love my job, and I love this country, but a few things have made me feel a little less than chipper.

I look at my post from yesterday and wonder how I apply that. When people let you down and circumstances are increasingly uncomfortable, what do you do? How do you cope?

How do you avoid letting other people's opinions sway your perception of yourself? How do you learn to be content even when you're alone? How long do you wait to see if things will improve? How long do you hope for someone to notice you?

I'm sorry for the tone of this update, but this is part of it. I've written for years. Most of the things I write sound terrible to me when they first appear and then, years later, make sense to me. I write because I have too many abstract notions going through my head. Sometimes what I say doesn't make any sense, but with age and increased wisdom I finally see what I was getting at.

And so my commitment to myself is to be as candid as possible and hide nothing. How many times have you read something and literally felt what the writer was feeling? Does it happen when people censor those embarrassing thoughts that are killing them? And what's the point of writing something that means nothing to you? What's the point if everything is run through a filter of what is acceptable?

No more. I'm going to share this with you, and it's embarrassing for me. I wrote it in the early part of 2008 (or maybe the later part of 2007), and even though it's not great by any standard, it accomplishes its purpose. I wrote it for a good friend, a new friend, and a potential girlfriend, but also to any new people who would come into my life years later. It's written in English, Spanish, and German because of how much I divide myself between people and places. That's it. Take what you will from it, or leave it alone.

I'm going to do my best to be true to myself. I am Buster W. I lose myself in thoughts and literature. I have doubts, fears, and self-esteem issues. I have a lot of talents and possibly more debilitating weaknesses. And here's something that I thought at one point in my life...

(You can use Google to translate the parts you don't understand, but the lack of understanding is kind of the point. The picture is related to the topic but mostly for comedic relief.)

Incoherent for the most part

Ich wuensche mir, dass du mich ein

fach verstehen koenntest...

Dass du endlich irgendwann da bist, dass du meine Traeume mit mir teilst...

Understand...

y que no me tenga que seguir dividiendo entre

lugares y personas que guardo como tesoros...

que a fin, se unan, que a fin, me pueda sentir completo

Unity...

I can say what I want in sounds that mean absolutely nothing to you

con los tonos fluyentes de otras gentes

oder der deutlichen Stimme der Vernunft.

What matters is that you look beyond my incoherent babble and hear

the groans of my heart

que oigas el clamor de mi ser

die Leidenschaft, die mir tief drinnen steckt

Que nos unamos mas alla que las palabras

Moege wir uns einander ohne Woerter verstehen

May we look into our hearts and embrace that which unites us

The naked humanity that we try to hide

Our passions-our struggles-our dreams

At this point it seems to me

What unites us more than anything are the things that turn our faces red.

The last part sticks with me most. "What unites us more than anything are the things that turn our faces red."

I hope it means something to you.

~Buster

View from the Cúspide Shopping Center at Night

Lomas Verdes, Estado de México

An Update and a Forward

Jardin Borda

Cuernavaca, Morelos

I just wanted to check in a bit and share what I read this week. I hope you guys enjoyed the pictures from my awesome trip last weekend. I'm so thankful that I got to go.

This week was very hectic and busy, but I'm happy with my job and most aspects of my life. There are a few situations I'm trying to resolve, so keep those in your prayers or good thoughts or whatever.

As I spent most of the week either working, giving tutoring, or at the gym, I don't have a lot to say right now. Next weekend I'm hoping to make it back to Cuernavaca to go to a reading group, as well as hang out with my friend. This weekend I'm just relaxing mostly.

I want to share this forward with you I got. I give all credit to moneyning.com for it.

Happiness is a Habit

This morning, I hopped onto a taxi as I needed to get to the empire state building. It was rush hour, so we were pretty soon stuck in traffic (NYC traffic is really bad). The cab driver let out a sigh, and started venting about his job. "The economy is so bad, and our business just suck! Everyday, we are working for 12, sometimes even 14 hours and we don't make much money... Even the tips that people leave are shrinking." Hearing that, I figured it would be best to change the subject, so I responded "at least your car is pretty spacious. Even in traffic, your customers should be comfortable." The driver didn't want to hear any of that, and he cut me off by saying"the seats are a piece of crap! If you don't believe me, try sitting here for 12 hours straight and see whether you still feel the same way!" He was really unhappy at this point, and continued to complain about the government bailouts, how our society brought on the financial crisis, and how the bankers are crooks while I sat there, not being able to think of anything to respond.

The next day, I again had to go to the empire state building. I again got into a cab but the experience was totally different.

As soon as I got into the car, a friendly smile greeted me. Then with a lighthearted voice, he asked me "Such a great day today, where do you want to go?" It was such a breath of fresh air, a little surprising actually. I told him my destination, and he then said "No problem sir! Let's get going!"
As soon as we turned the corner, we were stuck in traffic. Yet, instead of yelling at every other driver in existence, the cab driver started whistling. Obviously, he was in a very good mood.

I asked him "Looks like you are having a great morning so far huh?" He responded with a huge smile "I'm happy everyday. Everyday is a great day." "Why", I asked, "Isn't everyone complaining about the economy, the long work hours, and the lack of tips these days?" The driver then said "yeah, that's true. I actually have a whole family waiting for me to bring home enough money to survive. That's why I've stretched my hours to 14 hours a day. However, I still live life happily. I have a secret."

He paused for a bit, then said "don't be mad after I tell you, okay?" Of course I won't be upset. Anytime I can hear a secret to happiness, I'm intrigued and eager to learn about it.

He then went on "I'm always thinking of things in a different angle. For example, I feel like driving a cab is actually customers paying me to go on vacation. Like today, I met someone like you who will pay for me to go to the empire state building. How great is that? I know of an awesome hot dog stand over there and I get to enjoy it before I leave. After the delicious food, I can even take a smoking break!"

He continued on "Like a few days ago, I drove a couple to the pier to watch sunset. After they got off, I parked, watched sunset with an ice-cream in my hand. I got here already so why not right? Best of all, someone actually paid for the trip!"
Beautiful! What a delightful secret!

I suddenly felt really lucky that I got to meet this cab driver so early in the day. I get to sit in a cab, and hear such happy stories by a driver with service that's second to none. I decided to ask this gentlemen his number, so I can call him whenever I need to be somewhere. After he gave me his name card, his cell phone started ringing. There's an long time customer of his that wanted to go to the airport. Turns out that I'm not the only one that wants his company. I'm sure that this happiness expert's level of service not only wins him a great attitude but also lots of business.

Happiness is actually a habit. No matter what the circumstances, happiness experts can always find a way to be happy.
If you can look at our job in a different angle, we would be much more optimistic. You will realize that your inner energy will be much stronger, and that you won't be nearly as stressed out. And that, my friends, are a great way to be happy.

I always thought that work is actually an excuse for us to participate in different activities and also meet and hang out with people. (not to mention, people actually pay us for it!)

________________________________________________________

Hope you enjoyed.

~Buster

New Look

So, today I went to get a haircut, and they gave me a very Mexican one. I wasn't sure about it at first, but now I like it. What do you think? Did I become a sexy beast in one sitting?

I think it's very Mexican, but maybe I should let you decide. Vote here!

More Pictures from Cuernavaca and Tepoztlan

In Mexico you have to eat the elotes, corn on a cob on a stick :) (Nacho Libre Style!)

Araniz and I

Nico and I

Nico and Araniz

Me at the Jardin Borda (look how dirty and sweaty I am)

Cortes's Palace in Cuernavaca

At the top of the "mountain" in Tepoztlan

For your reading pleasure...

Raccoon Monsters (Found at the top of the mountain in Tepoztlan)

Araniz in a spot I was too scared to go to. I hate heights.

The group (Me, Araniz in the back, Nico in front)

I tried to put up some videos, but I'm having problems with it. More to come soon.

Love,

~Buster

Cuernavaca and Tepoztlán

Here's the beginning of my sharing about this trip...Enjoy!

I'll put up more videos and pictures tomorrow. To begin, though, I'd like to introduce you to the grasshopper.

Spanish Word of the Day: Chapulín (m.) = Grasshopper

This is a grasshopper.

This is a restaurant menu. Notice anything strange? No? Check the next picture.

Mental preparation before I eat the thing. Yep, grasshoppers were on the menu here.

And here I am eating the thing. It didn't taste as bad as you'd expect, but it wasn't great...especially the crunchy parts that stayed in my mouth. And yes, as you're chewing, you can feel every part of its body. **Cold chills**

And I think we'll leave it at that for now. I'll catch you up on the rest later.

Love, always,

~ Your Buster

Bridge Day

School's out today. No one answers the phone. No paycheck for Buster. No hiking trip.
I'm more than a little upset about this.

~Buster

*Update*
GOING BACK TO BED.

Dull!

Nothing big happened yesterday. Eliud and I just hung out, which was alright, but we missed everything. Oh well. Tomorrow Cuernavaca!

I've Got my Mexico Jersey and Some Sort of Plan

So, the big day is finally here! My stomachache is pretty much gone (the rumbles are still there, but the less pleasant symptoms have dissipated), and now I'm ironing my Mexico soccer jersey so that it's dry for tonight. Who knows what we'll do, but the city is abuzz with action and energy.

Here are some pictures!

(Some of these are too big and even go beyond their dedicated area :D

I'll add some personal pictures to this tomorrow, but we're getting ready to have a great time down here! :D

Viva México!

~Buster

Coming Up Next: Bicentennial and Tepoztlán

Tomorrow begins the Bicentennial Celebration, and I still haven't decided what I'm going to do. I was incapacitated the last couple of days, though.

On Sunday I had a terrible headache and stomachache, and in the night I was unable to sleep due to what some call "Moctezuma's Revenge." I missed work on Monday when I woke up with a more intense headache. It was worse when I was lying down, so I spent some time walking around my apartment trying to get the pain under control.

Last night I had an invitation to go to Wall Street Institute's Mexican Night, which I did because by the afternoon I was feeling somewhat better. The trip into the city, however, took a lot out of me. Because I hadn't been eating, I was weak, and by the time I got home (after taking the risk of eating two tacos there), I was sick again. This morning I decided to sleep in, but I think I won't get paid until Friday now, which is not good :S I'm hoping that they don't forget to pay me on that day.

Tomorrow, as I mentioned, begins the celebration, and I'm not sure what I'll do yet. I have a couple different ideas, but once I do whatever it is I do, I'll post pictures here. I'd like to go to the Palacio Nacional, but I don't really like the idea of facing the distinct possibility of death by trampling once I'm there. I'll probably play it safe and celebrate indoors with friends.

On Friday I'm heading to Cuernavaca, and then on Saturday with Nico to Tepoztlán, the "Pueblo Mágico." At least, that's the plan if they pay me on Friday. Once there, we'll check out the sites, and then we're going hiking. As I've mentioned before, anytime I'm with Nico it involves climbing something, and I'm nervous about the mix of altitude and extreme heights, but I'm ready to take on the challenge. I'll do my best to not let my fear of heights get to me, and maybe I'll even take a picture close to the edge. Keep your fingers crossed for me.

That's really all I've got on the agenda this week. Next week they're assigning me another group at school. So far I've only had three classes per day, but they told me they were "introducing me slowly" to my responsibilities. Let's hope that my sickness goes away before then for the fact that I don't want to shirk my responsibilities, and I want to be able to partake in all the good things this week has to offer.

That's all for now. I hope you all checked out my pictures on photobucket.com

~Buster

Tailspin

This song will not get out of my head. I was singing it in my head on the way to and from work today. I'm not sure why it matters to me.

I guess it says something like this to me. Who knows what will come in the future? And maybe I feel a little out of control. That said, I like not knowing what will happen the next day. I'm flourishing in many different ways.

Again, I'm not sure why that song matters to me so much right now.

By the way, I finally have a decent place to upload pictures. You can find them here. Once you click there, just save the link, and you should be able to see them. There are videos, pictures, etc. Enjoy.

But that's it for tonight. It's 12 AM, and now that I get up at 5:30 every morning for work, I feel like I've been up for ages. Good night.

~Buster

Praise God for Hard Lessons

There are people who are begging in the street right now just so they can get to work tomorrow. That hit me very personally today.

I am very happy with my life right now. Today I had that same overwhelming happiness that hit me several months ago when I got on the bus to come down here. I felt like I was maybe a complete idiot, but I was content.

All the same, I am learning a very, very difficult lesson right now. I found myself singing this song very loudly and passionately in my hallway just now:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KoOoSoSePi0

A few good things have happened to me this week. The other night, a trip across the street for tacos turned into a five hour conversation with one of the police officers who guards our apartments. He is a very interesting person, and soon I'll be giving him and his girlfriend English lessons. I've already learned a lot from him in other things.

Also, my new job is going well. It was a bit overwhelming at first, but i'm finding my rhythm. That said, I should be going to bed soon, but I have a few things to resolve first.

Finally, today one of my students (whether to suck up or not I don't know) said, "I really like Herr Whitfill (Mr. Whitfill). I think he's a good teacher, even though I haven't known him that long."

It was extremely encouraging. Teaching children has made me wonder if they can see that I am generally interested in them. Many times I have to take away time from their recess or write their names on the board to get them to pay attention, but they also make me laugh, and I enjoy their company.

Tomorrow is Friday. On Saturday I'll be with friends. Next week is the Mexican Bicentennial. After that I'm going to Cuernavaca to do some hiking with my good friend, Nico. Funny how every time we're together it involves me scaling heights that scare me to death, but I am looking forward to some fresh air and a nice view.

I'll write more soon. As I write this I'm uploading pictures and movies to photobucket.com. I'll show you all soon.

Love, always,

~Buster

An optimist will tell you the glass is half-full; the pessimist, half-empty; and the engineer will tell you the glass is twice the size it needs to be

I'm feeling rather optimistic today. I went to the grocery store and spent 1 peso over my budget (10 cents, for those who are thinking in dollars). I got a cab ride home with a friendly driver who said pay what I'd like. I'm starting a new job on Monday. I checked my weight today and, even though I haven't been following the diet, I haven't gained back ANY of the weight I lost (in fact I was .1 kg lighter).

I'm about to decide on a new book to read. I'm about to have a filling dinner. I'm about to do some lesson planning.

What have I done today? I slept off my last Zombie Day, talked with good friends such as Guillermo S., Luis G., Brett T., Jamie L., Bitia B., and Eliud P, and spent a good deal of time relaxing. I received a long message from Dr. B, and I got to write him back on the book that both of us have read and enjoyed.

I reached the store before it started raining, and it had stopped before I left.

People who talk with me lately recognize the optimism coming out of me, and I am happy. I want to talk about how this came about, what preceded it, and what followed it.

At the end of May, I decided that my long-distance job search wasn't going to yield any fruit. I decided that I had to be in Mexico for it to be successful, so I bought a plane ticket one night. On the plane two weeks later I said to myself, "Buster, you're a complete idiot, you know that, right?" (I actually did say that)

But then I started smiling. It was a giddy, infectious smile. As I soared off in a plane to another country with not much of anything but my guitar (which I was going to leave there), I felt like I was freed from something. I took a job, returned home to say goodbye, and again, as I was on the bus coming down here (and quite scared due to the sketchy Greyhound buses), I thought, "You must be a complete idiot." But soon this was cleared up when I found myself translating a conversation to a guy and spending the rest of the night talking about life in the US and life in Mexico.

The morning I woke up in the Mexican countryside, some friendly immigrants who had helped me carry things said that we'd be stopping for breakfast. I had a hot chocolate (Mexican style, with cinnamon) and felt the cold air. I put on a sweater and fell back to sleep. A few hours later, the bus drivers decided they were hungry, so we stopped at a roadside restaurant where I filled up on quesadillas (at that point, my stomach was filled to capacity after the 2-day trip).

Seeing the city, I felt happy. And because of all I've learned in just two months, I feel happy, self-confident, and more lucid than I've felt in a while. I feel like my future is a bright one, and I am able to forget about myself more often and help others.

Whether you believe in coincidence or God, I believe that all of this has happened for a reason. Every event that brought me here, and the life that lead up to this point, with ups and downs, was worth it. I am happier than ever, although I miss my family dearly.

But it's important to keep smiling. There's peace in knowing that all things, good and bad, must end.

~Buster

Flesh Cravings

It's my last Zombie Day. Next week begins a new adventure.

I'll be teaching German to primary/middle school students. I'm excited about a few aspects of the new job.

1) It's out of the city (green grass and trees!)
2) I'll have a set schedule from 7:30 to 2:30 Monday through Friday.
3) NO SATURDAYS!
4) Zombie Days will not be forced upon me. They'll only happen when I'm irresponsible and don't go to sleep at a decent hour.

In a few hours I'm going to call my new school and let them know I'll be there on Monday. They haven't made it clear if I'll be teaching on that day, or if it'll be more like an orientation. Either way, there are still some specifics to clear up. (For some reason, they need to see my birth certificate...)

I'm expecting this to be a peaceful weekend. Tonight I'm planning on hanging out with some friends. Tomorrow I'll sleep to my heart's content. Sunday I'll have church.

I have a few little adventures coming up. For the 15th of September (aka the day before the bicentennial), I'm planning on going to Cuernavaca to watch a friend do a folkloric dance performance. Toward the end of September I'm planning a trip to Acapulco.

Last night I finished "The Razor's Edge." The ending disappointed me, but as they talked about in the book, all things real must come to an end. If anyone here plans on reading the book, I'll keep mi thoughts on the ending private for now. We can talk about it afterward.

I'm cautiously optimistic about a few things right now. I'd rather talk about some of this in private, though.

Other than that, I'd better go. I'm at work, and my next class starts soon.

Buster, reporting live from Mexico.

The Last Words of Oscar Wilde

As he lay dying in bed, Mr. Wilde found his wallpaper to be atrocious. Looking around he said, "Either this wallpaper goes, or I do..." and he died.

Why should I begin this post with someone's last words? I just find them amusing.

I'm quickly finishing up what is becoming my favorite book, "The Razor's Edge." I am finding out all about what Larry Darrell did on his travels around the world, and it's amazing how much I can relate. Is he an idiot or a genius? I hear what he says and understand it, but I'm not sure it would be considered worthwhile for everyone.

Nonetheless, everyday I feel more self-assured. These days it takes very little to bring a smile to my face, and things are really starting to clear themselves up for me. Because I've taken a very different path, I feel free somehow. And being free, shaking off unnecessary obligations and truly living, is an incomparable feeling.

It gives me time to think. It gives me time to be creative and set myself goals. Also, changing environments gives me energy to accomplish those goals. I've learned that owning your mistakes and faults makes you more capable of confronting them. I'm working on confronting them now.

I'm also beginning to really care about people from here. My acquaintances are becoming friends, and my friends are becoming best friends. It's really nice to have so many people around me whom I trust despite only being here for a short time, and now that I'll have more time, I'll be able to get to know them better.

I had been losing weight, but in the rush of the last two weeks (interviewing and other obligations) I haven't been exactly following my diet. Next week with the new job it has to start back up. Also, since I'm finishing up "The Razor's Edge," it's time to pick out a new book.

I went to a bookstore yesterday and a few different ones caught my eye. One was a key for learning Nahuatl (the language spoken by the Aztecs and still spoken by about 1 million people in Mexico), the complete works of Sor Juana Ines de la Cruz, and "La Araucana." If any of these things don't make sense, look them up. I'm more nervous about tackling Sor Juana's works, though. That woman was brilliant.

Also, tomorrow I'm going to check out a gym membership at the gym across the street from my apartment. It'd be nice to take the benefits of dieting and boost them a bit with a trainer.

That's it for now. Tomorrow is the last Zombie Day. I'd probably better get some sleep so that I can enjoy it. Feel free to email me or get in touch.

~Buster