Pardon my English

I think my English is starting to take a hit. Because I don't typically speak it with native speakers, I'm beginning to adapt my students' quirks and also pay less attention in my speaking and writing. Also, I'm noticing that my speech is becoming a bit more formal, as I've been reading a book written with language used during the Great Depression in high society. Or maybe I just don't pay attention when I write and talk. Not sure which it is.

It is Zombie Day again. How is everyone holding up? Are you resisting your flesh cravings? Today, I was very tempted to indulge myself. On the shuttle, everyone was falling asleep, and as a result, I, who was seated rather far away from the driver, had to pass everyone's money to the front. So as we were weaving through traffic (albeit, very, very slowly) I was passing money back and forth between driver and passenger. It would have been nice to wake the guy up who was sitting right beside the driver with a huge bite.

I was late, and it was annoying. This is the reason I quit my job. I spent an hour on a stretch that really should've only taken like 30-40 minutes to traverse (under normal traffic conditions). The traffic was literally the worst I've seen in Mexico City, and that, my friend, is saying something.

I don't know how many of you noticed the fancy, schmancy counter I got for my page. Notice the flags that show how many visitors have come from each country? I know you're coming! So, why don't you comment? All you have to do is make a gmail account, or you can just send me an email! It would be nice to know who is keeping up with me :)

Today is the quincena, the 15th, which means that it's payday. We get paid on the 15th and at the end of every month. It's nice, even though most of this paycheck is already spoken for. Oh well, at least I'll get to touch it.

I'm going to cut this short here, but I read my last post and was kind of irked by how I was writing. I wanted to make apologies here.

Salutations,
-Buster

New Job, Local Hospitality, and the Beginnings of the Bicentennial

Hey all,

I've been busy lately. Very busy. Ridiculously busy. And tired. Very tired. Ridiculously tired.

But happy. Very happy. Ridiculously happy.

What's new with me? Well, due to ridiculous distance (let's see how many times I can use that word in this post) I have had to put in my resignation at work. It wasn't exactly a pleasant decision, but between 8 hours of work and 3 hours of commuting every day it was getting to be a bit much. Last week I interviewed with a school that is only about 40 minutes away and was offered a job to teach German. Among other benefits, I'll have paid vacations, summer vacation, and free trips to Europe with the children (woot!). It's a teaching position in a primary/middle school, and the area is filled with greenery. It's not exactly in the city, so it will be nice to work there, and when I feel like braving the city, I'll be able to head

in, relaxed and able to laugh at the people pushing each other on public transportation.

I've been battling laringitis. I'm I think it's developing into a full-on sinus infection. I finally went to the doctor to get some antibiotics, but I'm still fighting it off and enduring a bit of a cold. It's probably a mix of the cold weather, rain, and city pollution. Other than this, I really feel fine, and when I keep up my medicine, I feel okay.

I've been experimenting with different websites for posting pictures, and nothing has really been satisfactory so far (except for Facebook). If I had a space to do it here, I'd put a link to them, but I don't really know the best way to do it yet. If I figure this out, I'll let you know.

I do have one picture, though. As Mexico is about to celebrate its bicentennial, people here have been getting their green, white, and red shirts, memorabilia, and flags. Walking down the streets will expose you to hundreds of flags, so I decided to join in the festivities a bit by making a picture for them with my Mexican soccer team jersey.

Other than that, I've been preparing myself to change jobs. Since this new one will be with kids, I've been thinking of different activities I can do to teach them German, and I am actually enjoying the thought process.

Also, as I mentioned last post, I'm thinking of a humanitarian project. Everyone here should check out reallifesuperheroes.com and get ready to be inspired. I'm thinking of getting some friends together to dawn super hero outfits and do some work here as well.

Also, I highly recommend the book, The Razor's Edge, by Somerset Maugham. It's making me think a lot, and the story is really engaging.

As far as other concerns, I still haven't gotten the real internet in my house. This connection is only about 120 kb/sec. Soon we'll be surfing at 1 MB, if the cable company ever gets their poop together.

I don't have a lot to say tonight. Today was a pleasant day, and I spent a good deal of it daydreaming and thinking. If anything, being in a foreign country helps you to think a lot more than you normally would, and I am T-H-R-I-V-I-N-G as far as that goes. Now if I could just pick up the pace and lose some more weight (possibly by joining a gym), and get all my basic necessities in order in my apartment, I'd be a happy camper. As it is, I'm planning a trip to Acapulco in September, and also a trip to Cuernavaca to watch a friend take part in Mexican folkloric dance. Go ahead and Google any of that that didn't make sense.

One other thing I mentioned in the title will be mostly left as a mystery here. The "Local Hospitality" part. Let's just see I believe I might have a run-in with someone who is very unhappy with her life and chooses to treat her clients, both foreign and domestic, as trash.

But all pleasantries aside, here's wishing everyone a lovely evening and a happy Zombie Day tomorrow.

Love, always,

~Buster

Alien World, Drifters, and Super Heroes

My mind is swimming right now with articles and books I'm reading. I take time to catch up on the news again (finally) and have been reading "The Razor's Edge," which has gotten me thinking about my life and about society. Also, I just finished reading a series of articles on NASA discoveries and research.

I love it when my mind is in a whir like this. It's really like there's no limit to what I can do. Today, I began thinking about a huge, international humanitarian effort, a side-business, and am craving a new book that discusses places I know little about (Asia, for instance).

It's hard to describe, and I know that tomorrow is a Zombie Day, but even though I have to wake up in 3.5 hours I just can't sleep. I have pressure in the side of my head, which happens when I'm tired, but I'm literally sitting here shaking my leg out of excitement.

Why? I don't know how to write down everything running through my mind, but the absence of homework due dates, the knowledge that soon I'll have a set schedule with plenty of free time and decent pay (plus several other compensations), gives me a huge boost in energy.

But I think I probably should go TRY to sleep. More than likely I'll read for another half hour or so, but I mostly wanted to start to etch out some ideas (by putting them in the title) so that I could revisit them later. Call me a nerd if you want. I'll explain all of this better when I get the chance. I don't really feel like tackling it tonight.

Soon,

~Buster

I don't need a crystal ball to see the future! Boo-yah!

I'm changing jobs. Not because I don't like where I am, but I don't like living 1.5 hours (or more) from work and dedicating 55-60 hours per week to it. It's exhausting. Yesterday, I gave my two week's notice. The next few weeks I have some interviews as well as applications to take care of.

Luckily, my co-workers understand my decision, and the resignation won't leave us with hard feelings.

Nonetheless, I've been thinking about my future. I've been reading and relating to certain characters from books (namely, Larry from "The Razor's Edge"), and I'm piecing a few things together.

I thought about returning to the US, but I know it's not time yet. However, I feel that the day will arrive within a few years, after I feel I have gained enough experience here. I'm very happy with my decision to live in Mexico. I'm learning a lot about myself, about people, and society in general. It's nice when you recognize that something is doing you good. In Germany, I learned a lot, but often I was too ignorant to what a positive influence it was having on my life.

That said, I suppose that since the topic of the day is the future, let me tell you my ideas. Whenever I'm ready to leave Mexico (think some point in the next five years) I'll likely go back to the United States, work a year or so as a teacher, and pay off any remaining money I owe from student loans. After that, I'll do one of two things, or maybe both simultaneously.

I plan on taking the foreign service exam (the FSOT), in order to get a job with the US Department of State. Supposing I'm accepted, who knows where I'll end up? My other idea is to go to grad school for public administration or diplomacy. I'm looking at my options for all of that right now just to have an idea for when the day arrives that I do it.

But I have to get going. I'm waiting on a baguette to arrive for breakfast, and I'm using one of my co-workers' computer. Many of you will be getting calls in the next day or so. Hope everyone is doing okay.

Love,
-Buster

Rest in Peace, Hazel

I would like to take a moment to honor my great-aunt, Hazel Hardin. I always respected and loved her, and tonight, as I reflect on her passing, I learn.

My hometown feels so different to me now compared to how I felt there as a kid. The people around me were different, and somehow I convinced myself things would never change. But changes began to happen rapidly. People died. People had disagreements.

I also began to change. An overwhelming desire to travel hit me. A desire to understand people. Also, an unnaturally (and sometimes unbearably) strong affection hit me. I find it extremely difficult to harbor ill will toward people. When I do, something inside me wakes up and asks what good it brings...it implores me to see the person as a person and look past whatever angered me.

I began to develop a great love and respect for immigrants. They left their families and the comfort of their home and native language to work for those they love. Truly, the conditions many of them left were highly uncomfortable. They did what they could.

I felt that, as a native, I could learn their language and learn to show them hospitality. I soon realized that things would go differently for me. I began to throw myself out there. I began to test myself. And why? I wasn't satisfied with the person I was. I always desired, and continue desiring, to be more.

What does this have to do with Aunt Hazel's passing? A great deal, in fact. I look at her legacy and am amazed. Through her love and affection she managed to make a name for herself in her community. I think about my grandparents. I think about aunts and uncles who have passed on.

What will people say about Buster when he's gone? My prayer will be that they never saw me as simple. My prayer will be that they never saw me as self-centered. All I wanted to do in life was serve. All I wanted to do was help people. I left home to pursue a dream, not a successful career. Perhaps I was a fool, but I hope that my sincerity was understood.

Aunt Hazel, tonight I honor your legacy with the prayer that one day my life will have blessed as many others as yours. I thank you for the lessons you've taught me in life and in death. May angels guide you home. May your peace be eternal.

-Buster

A Hectic Week and A Happy Realization

Hello everyone. I've been busy with a few different things. Last week I went to a birthday party and tried my hand (or feet) at dancing. I had a lot of fun, but I think I need to take classes.

This followed an unfortunate occurrence in the morning, but I'll talk about that in private if you're interested.

This week I've been training on some updates here at Wall Street Institute. So far, I feel like I'm learning a lot and am more confident as a teacher.

Other important happenings:
Our refrigerator is coming today. (Finally) Now I'm thinking about cooking meat.
Internet is coming tomorrow. (Finally) Now I'm thinking of all the pictures you'll be able to see.

In other news, I checked my weight yesterday when I went for lunch. At first, the digital image on the screen was messed up (some of the lights didn't come on), so it looked like I had gained weight. But some people have told me I look thinner, and well, the truth is, I am :) I lost about 12 lbs in the last month or so. Soon I'll get that gym membership and up that number a little bit, but I was very encouraged when I saw that.

Other than that, I don't have a lot to say, but tomorrow, I'll probably post a nice long entry, since I'll have internet at home. I'm sorry I've kept you all waiting. Also, I'll make some phone calls when I have Skype up and running.

Love, always,
-Buster

It's a good day for an update.

Saludos a todos (dondequiera que se encuentren).

I thought I'd actually update on a day when I feel rested and energized. Usually I have more free time on Tuesdays and Fridays, the so-called "Zombie Days," to update all of you who care about me (and I say that humbly) on my life. On those days of little rest and flesh-cravings, I am typically not exactly thrilled about...anything.

But today I'm having a good day. I slept as long as I wanted to, my roommate is coming back from Cuba today (so maybe I'll have internet at home soon...imagine that!), I'm on my break, and I saw a student make excellent progress today. In one month of teaching, I've already had the opportunity to see students say "ohhhhhh!" (or as some people say, watch the light bulb go off in their head), and I've seen them get excited about learning.

On the other hand, I've also had students who seem unwilling to make themselves improve. I suppose you get both, but days like today make those days seem smaller somehow.

Besides that, this weekend I am up to my ears in plans. (Always a nice thing) Plus, I should get paid tomorrow, since the 15th is on Sunday, and I'll finally have a refrigerator at home. It won't be pleasant blowing a paycheck on it, but I suppose the long-term benefits outweigh the short-term economic struggles. haha

For all of you I haven't talked to in a long time, I apologize. Whenever I have Skype in my life again I'll be able to call and update you and talk to you about this and that. Until then, I'll try to send emails while I'm at work, or at the very least, keep this updated.

Also, Lukas, I don't know when I'll get to talk to you, and I had planned on calling you, but I didn't have a way to, so HAPPY BIRTHDAY (a little late, I know). I still remember the night you were born. Your mom went into labor at a quick recall match of mine, and I was watching Happy Days in the waiting room when she pushed you out 13 years ago. (You should've seen her eyes after that...)

Alright, everyone, take care, and keep it real.

-Your friendly neighborhood Buster

And let the good times roll...

Forgive the frustration of the last entry. I was down. Blame it on a lack of sleep and being sick. I've had a summer cold since last Sunday.

This week, so far, has been okay. I missed work today because I couldn't sleep last night (I was coughing the whole night). On the weekend, I went to the movies with some new friends, as well as some friends from Matamoros who were visiting.

I don't have a lot to say right now. As soon as I can get pictures uploaded, I will. Pray that I get over this cold sooon, and that I also get internet in my house. My roommate comes back from Cuba tomorrow, so maybe we'll get it done then.

-Buster

Chin up, eyes forward...

I'm a bit down lately. It has to do with stupidity on my part. Say a prayer for me, that I can keep smiling.

I managed to get my pictures uploaded to my computer. I was having problems just because I'm not used to uploading pictures. As soon as I have internet (hopefully by the end of this week or next), I'll get them on here for everyone to see.

In two weeks I'm getting a gym membership, along with the rest of my co-workers. Today is a zombie day and even after sleeping maybe 5.5 hours I'm feeling okay. I'm getting adjusted.

I just need a bit livelier social life (and right now, I'm not sure if you say livelier or more lively). Either way, I'm thankful that I'm feeling as I'm feeling right now because these feelings usually lead to a season of personal growth. I hope that that's the case this time.

I leave you with one of my favorite songs. Follow the link if you wish.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hRXWeedkC_0

Love, always,
-Buster

I feel like an old man

Yesterday, I realized some things about myself...

1) I am terrified of heights.
2) If I force myself to do things, eventually they get easier.
3) Overcoming fear doesn't mean losing it, simply confronting it (more of a life lesson than anything)
4) My hair is getting thinner.
5) I need to lose weight...stat

I really enjoyed my trip to the pyramids with Nico and Alex. They are, to say the very least, impressive. The long trip to the top, the breathlessness you feel as you climb the stairs, the fear of standing near the edge of such a structure all attest to the diligence of the Aztecs.

Looking at myself climbing them about 500 years after the last Aztec ascended that tower to worship forced me to take a hard look at myself.

I asked myself, simply, what I am doing in life and where I am going. I asked myself what I am so scared of and why I'm not willing to work hard for myself.

I remember feeling tired. I saw pictures of the person I am and wasn't satisfied. Something has to change.

My friend, Nico, told me I didn't have to ascend the Pyramid of the Moon. It was the steepest one of all, with steps that jutted upward about 1.5 feet with only about 8 inches to plant yourself before moving on to the next step. I knew that I would be terrfied, and there was another woman there who shared my fear.

I seriously considered not climbing, but I also forced myself to try to think clearly. Would I let a fear (borderline phobia) prevent me from this experience? Was it worth the security to stay at the bottom?

I decided it wasn't. I just said, "Hay que superar el miedo," (We have to face our fears) and started climbing.

Descending was another story. I was terrified. I tried to laugh at myself, but I couldn't. Honestly, it took me about 30 minutes to calm myself down after the descent, but as I talked to Nico on the ride back home, I really started thinking.

Everything I excel at is a talent of mine. I've naturally been able to learn languages, naturally been able to sing, naturally been able to talk to people. Most of the things in my life that have taken hard work in my life have been ignored. I've let myself get by on talent alone, even in my university studies.

It is about time I changed that. Today my feet aching with torn open blisters. My ankle hurts from my fall a few weeks ago. I am sunburnt and sick. I feel traumatized at my thinning hair and worried about how things might progress.

I MUST overcome this challenge. I've dreamt big dreams, and my fear and desire for security will only hold me back. I have to do something. If I don't do it now, I never will.

A few plans:

Joining a gym that is next-door to my job.
Doing some tutoring on the side to boost my economic situation.
Taking time to enjoy my days off.
Spending lots of time with friends.
Eating better.

These have to be done. These have to be done. These have to be done.

I need support and prayer.

Thank you.
-Buster